Draw a Line

Assalamualaikum w.b.t. and Greetings.

I am sure you are familiar with my writing, for some of you when I mentioned autopilot mode. It is a mode where you are so proficient technically, that you can focus on other things that truly matter.

Solving problems is what matters, and programming, writing, and so on are just tools. It’s a means to an end. We get our adrenaline and dopamine from solving problems. We used to think that is caused by writing code, but have you ever gotten excited from writing pointless code?

With autopilot mode, it is easy for us to get dragged into the thoughts that:

“Everything should be on autopilot.”

Not really.

Own Your Thought

I was once driving my car around the city late at night, close to early morning.

I truly enjoy late-night drives, especially after a long, tiring day, and this was back then before I got married.

I was so familiar with the road, the car, and everything that I was confident in my driving skills.

Until one night, when I felt a zap going through my body. A sudden stomp to my heart.

I was micro-sleeping for a few seconds, and my body went on autopilot without the pilot.

As much as it is important to train to have autopilot mode, for example in your code writing skills, it is even more important to set direction, truly be aware and importantly save your own life.

I could’ve died that night.

I should’ve been attentive, more aware of my body, and just stopped when I should’ve stopped.

Listen.

Listen to your body.

Drawing a Line

What is drawing a line? In my context, and in this writing scope, it means to truly be attentive to yourself, your mind, and your surroundings.

Are you tired?
Is it night already?
Have you eaten?
Did you have an exhaustive day today?

These are some of the questions that we rarely think about, to be honest. As soon as we dip ourselves into the system (the typical school, university, work, pension, etc), we rarely think much of ourselves. And it doesn’t get better from now on if we do not tackle this early.

Start drawing a line, and what works for me is usually simple.

Branch out.
2 instead of 1.
Yes/No instead of Yes.
Perhaps instead of definitely.

If we are linear and predictable, we’re just a robot in the cog.

Start by questioning everything, even the uncomfortable ones. Learn to voice out what truly lies deep in your chest.

A few seconds of pause before saying yes, or autopiloting, could save your life. I could’ve died that midnight and wished:

“If only I took a pause, and thought of myself”

That is why the “People Scale” I mentioned before is truly powerful. Where we stand on one scale and the other party on the other scale. If the scale weighs too much on you and the other gets it easy, it doesn’t do you justice.

You’re always receiving, receiving, receiving, and the others endlessly perform the ‘giving’ part.

Draw a scale, and paste it to the desktop, monitor, toilet, and everything.

This scale is even more true to things that really drain you, sometimes even the unimportant one gets thrown at you, and it usually consumes too much time and energy.

Draw that line.

Why It Is Hard to Diverge

Diverging from the norm is a challenge to ourselves, and usually puts us in a tough situation, too. It makes us uncomfortable with it, which is what leading us to default to becoming the ‘yes man/woman’.

But here’s the thing, you are already a divergent now.

By saying yes, you are part of the communities that often say yes. There are also those out there who truly challenge everything that comes their way.

Even if you diverge and learn to say ‘no’, or start thinking about yourself, you are never alone in this world. There will always be a slice of cake for everyone.

But in any path that you choose, it is important to find what your value is. What will your philosophy be?

It is important to be kind in any of the choices you make in life. There are things that we will not sacrifice or jeopardize, just for the sake of it.

One thing that hits me hard with Islam is, that everything starts with intention. If we take this value and apply it to everything in our lives, we will start to see the rewards and objectives of what we truly want.

When was the last time you truly heard your voice?

This also stems from our upbringing. Did we always say yes when our family needed help? Did we just give them money whenever they asked of us, and never truly look at the root of it? Did we just follow our friends wherever they brought us?

If so, this shapes how we are behaving today, and we need to be aware of it. Better, we should start taking proactive measures on it.

The one on the line is you.

How many times have you said yes and regret it? Not every ‘yes’ is harmless. Some of them would truly cost you time, energy, and worse, losing sense of yourself.

As always, I pray that Allah s.w.t. blesses all of my readers with a blessed life and hereafter, and I hope you love yourself more than you give yourself credit for.

ps: This newsletter is intentionally delayed, a unique one just like the ‘tttest’ newsletter previously, as I’m drawing a line myself. As hard as it is to break the comfort zone, sometimes we have to.